Love Nurtures Faith

Elder Bednar taught:

We Should Express Love and Show it:

“Feeling the security and constancy of love from a spouse, a parent, or a child is a rich blessing. Such love nurtures and sustains faith in God. Such love is a source of strength and casts out fear (see 1 John 4:18). Such love is the desire of every human soul.”

We Should Bear Testimony and Live It:

“Within the walls of our own homes, we can and should bear pure testimony of the divinity and reality of the Father and the Son, of the great plan of happiness, and of the Restoration.”

“Our testimony of gospel truth should be reflected both in our words and in our deeds. . . . our testimonies are proclaimed and lived most powerfully in our own homes. . . . We should both create and look for opportunities to bear testimony of gospel truths—and live them.

“Feeling the power, the edification, and the constancy of testimony from . . . a parent . . . is a rich blessing. Such testimony fortifies faith and provides direction. Such testimony generates light in a world that grows increasingly dark. Such testimony is the source of an eternal perspective and of enduring peace.”

Be Consistent

“Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. . . . our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results.

“Being consistent in our homes is important for another reason. Many of the Savior’s harshest rebukes were directed to hypocrites. Jesus warned His disciples concerning the scribes and Pharisees: “Do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not” (Matthew 23:3). This strong admonition is sobering given the counsel to “express love—and show it,” to “bear testimony—and live it,” and to “be consistent.”

“A public statement of love when the private actions of love are absent at home is hypocrisy—and weakens the foundation of a great work. Publicly declaring testimony when faithfulness and obedience are missing within our own homes is hypocrisy—and undermines the foundation of a great work. The commandment “Thou shalt not bear false witness” (Exodus 20:16) applies most pointedly to the hypocrite in each of us. We need to be and become more consistent. “But be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity”. (1 Timothy 4:12)

“The hypocrisy in our lives is most readily discerned and causes the greatest destruction within our own homes. And children often are the most alert and sensitive when it comes to recognizing hypocrisy.”

How to Teach a Colt to Fall Over

Here is a story told by Elder M. Russell Ballard. His application of this story was how to encourage young men to serve missions but the application is universal as we deal with children or adults.

 Elder M Russell Ballard, Ensign, May 2005, “One More”

“As you reach out to them, please remember the experience of a friend of mine. He had never owned a horse in his life until he married a wonderful woman who loves horses. Wanting to impress his new bride, he announced one evening that he was going to the pasture to teach a colt how to be led. He weighed more than the colt. He knew more than the colt. He assumed all he would need to do was pull on the lead rope and sooner or later the colt would follow. He was confident that the process would be short and simple.

He attached the lead rope to the halter, got in front of the colt, and pulled. The colt resisted. My friend pulled harder, and the colt planted his legs more firmly. So he really pulled, and the colt fell over. The process was repeated several times until my friend made this assessment: in just four or five minutes he had successfully taught the colt to fall over. All he had to do was get in front of the colt, pick up the rope, and over it would go.

His wife, watching this process, finally suggested that instead of getting in front of the colt and pulling, he might try wrapping the rope around the colt and simply walking alongside. To my friend’s chagrin, it worked.

There seems to be something inside each of us that resists being told or pushed or pulled. But if someone puts an arm around a young man and walks alongside him, he is likely to follow along with a desire to serve. 

Unrighteous Dominion

Paul V. Johnson, Seminaries and Institutes of Religion Satellite Broadcast August 5, 2014

“Control, force, manipulation – these things can produce compliance, but they won’t promote conversion. If there is any real progress with the child, it is in spite of any compulsion, not because of it.

“Unrighteous dominion doesn’t yield real spiritual growth because that only comes when a person chooses to do what is right, not when he or she is forced or coerced to some behavior. Forcing children to do the right things can actually foster rebellion.”

“Daddy, do you own me?”

I may as well post more of my favorites. So here is another. This example points out what a great amount of patience it takes to work with children especially if they need to do something but don't want to.

Elder Russell M. Nelson. Ensign, April 1991, Listen to Learn

A wise father once said, “I do a greater amount of good when I listen to my children than when I talk to them.” 

When our youngest daughter was about four years of age, I came home from hospital duties quite late one evening. I found my dear wife to be very weary. I don’t know why. She only had nine children underfoot all day. So I offered to get our four-year-old ready for bed. I began to give the orders: “Take off your clothes; hang them up; put on your pajamas; brush your teeth; say your prayers” and so on, commanding in a manner befitting a tough sergeant in the army. Suddenly she cocked her head to one side, looked at me with a wistful eye, and said, “Daddy, do you own me?”

She taught me an important lesson. I was using coercive methods on this sweet soul. To rule children by force is the technique of Satan, not of the Savior. No, we don’t own our children. Our parental privilege is to love them, to lead them, and to let them go.

You Can't Drive Them

This is another one I found when researching for my lesson:

President Joseph F. Smith 

“Fathers, if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them! … However wayward they might be, … when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly. … You can’t drive them; they won’t be driven” 

(Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 316). Quoted by Elder John K Carmack, February 1997, “When Our Children Go Astray”

He Made Me Mad

I'm preparing again for a Ward Conference Relief Society lesson and reread this excerpt from a General Conference talk from a while back. It really made an impression on me when it was given so I went looking for it when considering how we create an atmosphere of love in our homes that will lead to spiritual growth.

Lynn G Robbins, GC, April 1998, Agency and Anger

“. . . Satan is the “father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another” (3 Ne. 11:29; emphasis added). The verb stir sounds like a recipe for disaster: Put tempers on medium heat, stir in a few choice words, and bring to a boil; continue stirring until thick; cool off; let feelings chill for several days; serve cold; lots of leftovers.

A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” . . . To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.”

“He made me mad.” This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!”

“Nor can becoming angry be justified. In Matthew 5, verse 22, the Lord says: “But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment” (emphasis added). How interesting that the phrase “without a cause” is not found in the inspired Joseph Smith Translation (see Matt. 5:24), nor in the 3 Nephi 12:22 version. When the Lord eliminates the phrase “without a cause,” He leaves us without an excuse. “But this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Ne. 11:30). We can “do away” with anger, for He has so taught and commanded us.”

How shall we avoid deception?

How shall we be able to avoid deception in these the last days when Christ himself prophesied:

"For in those days there shall also arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders, insomuch, that, if possible, they shall deceive the very elect, who are the elect according to the covenant. "  (JS Matthew 1:22)

Elder Kim B. Clark warned in last General Conference:
"Whatever level of spirituality or faith or obedience we now have, it will not be sufficient for the work that lies ahead. We need greater spiritual light and power. We need eyes to see more clearly the Savior working in our lives and ears to hear His voice more deeply in our hearts."

D&C 45: 55-59 gives us the key to arriving at the last day where Satan has no place in our heart; the key to being one of the wise virgins referred to in the parable of the Ten Virgins found in Matthew 25:1-13.  The key is . . . . are you ready . . . . .drum roll please . . . . in D&C 45:57 . . . . the wise vigins "have taken the Holy Spirit for their guide"

So taking the Holy Spirit for our guide becomes our most important task. Elder Clark gave some good guidelines for doing that, all the simple stuff that we've heard over and over. Do we have faith enough to act upon these guidelines? Its the same as asking "Are we wise enough to keep oil in our lamps during the time of waiting for the Savior's return?"  Cause that's how we do it - so simple that its easy to look beyond the mark.

In all of these guidelines, I would add that it's crucial that our heart is engaged as we do them.  Simply checking them off a "TO DO LIST" is not going to work in the long term.

From Elder Clark:
In our HOMES: pray in faith, search the scriptures, keep the Sabbath day holy

In our CHAPElS: partake of the sacrament, make sacred promises to Heavenly Father 

In HOLY TEMPLES: participate in sacred ordinances

in our FAMILIES and ASSIGNMENTS: reach out to others, lifting their burdens and inviting them to come to Christ 

THEN this is the PROMISE: "the Holy Ghost will come! We will grow spiritually and gain experience with the Holy Ghost, and He will be our companion."

The RESULT for us: we will see the Lord Jesus Christ working in our lives; we will see our brothers and sisters through eyes of love and compassion; we will hear the Savior's voice in the scriptures, in the whisperings of the spirit, in the words of the living prophets; we will see the power of God resting upon HIs prophet; and we will know with a surety that this is God's holy work; we will see the way the Savior does; we will have eyes to see and ears to hear. . . Through the companionship of the Holy Ghost we will be able to cut through confusion, pain and darkness. 

I would add my testimony to these promises. I know that it's through these simple things that we use our agency to choose Christ and "receive the Holy Ghost". I know that He keeps His promises. I know that as we choose to receive the Holy Ghost - to invite him into our lives by doing these simple things, we will be led and guided to know "all things what ye should do." (2 N 32:5)

I know that "the Spirit speaketh truth and lieth not."  and that the spirit will show us "things as they really are, and of things as they really will be." and that the spirit will show us these things "plainly for the salvation of our souls." (Jacob 4:13) There is absolute truth - things as they really are and the spirit will teach it to us. There is good and evil. It is given unto us to judge. There is a light by which we may judge and we are counseled to "see that ye do not judge wrongfully. (Moroni 7:18-19)

“The ability to receive and act upon personal revelation is the single most important skill we can acquire in this life. With it we cannot fail; without it we cannot succeed” (Julie B Beck; “And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit,”Ensign, May 2010, 11).

So what can we do to increase our abilities to receive revelation from the Holy Ghost? How can we help our children to acquire this skill? How can we take the Holy Spirit for our guide?