Unrighteous Dominion

Paul V. Johnson, Seminaries and Institutes of Religion Satellite Broadcast August 5, 2014

“Control, force, manipulation – these things can produce compliance, but they won’t promote conversion. If there is any real progress with the child, it is in spite of any compulsion, not because of it.

“Unrighteous dominion doesn’t yield real spiritual growth because that only comes when a person chooses to do what is right, not when he or she is forced or coerced to some behavior. Forcing children to do the right things can actually foster rebellion.”

“Daddy, do you own me?”

I may as well post more of my favorites. So here is another. This example points out what a great amount of patience it takes to work with children especially if they need to do something but don't want to.

Elder Russell M. Nelson. Ensign, April 1991, Listen to Learn

A wise father once said, “I do a greater amount of good when I listen to my children than when I talk to them.” 

When our youngest daughter was about four years of age, I came home from hospital duties quite late one evening. I found my dear wife to be very weary. I don’t know why. She only had nine children underfoot all day. So I offered to get our four-year-old ready for bed. I began to give the orders: “Take off your clothes; hang them up; put on your pajamas; brush your teeth; say your prayers” and so on, commanding in a manner befitting a tough sergeant in the army. Suddenly she cocked her head to one side, looked at me with a wistful eye, and said, “Daddy, do you own me?”

She taught me an important lesson. I was using coercive methods on this sweet soul. To rule children by force is the technique of Satan, not of the Savior. No, we don’t own our children. Our parental privilege is to love them, to lead them, and to let them go.

You Can't Drive Them

This is another one I found when researching for my lesson:

President Joseph F. Smith 

“Fathers, if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them! … However wayward they might be, … when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly. … You can’t drive them; they won’t be driven” 

(Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 316). Quoted by Elder John K Carmack, February 1997, “When Our Children Go Astray”

He Made Me Mad

I'm preparing again for a Ward Conference Relief Society lesson and reread this excerpt from a General Conference talk from a while back. It really made an impression on me when it was given so I went looking for it when considering how we create an atmosphere of love in our homes that will lead to spiritual growth.

Lynn G Robbins, GC, April 1998, Agency and Anger

“. . . Satan is the “father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another” (3 Ne. 11:29; emphasis added). The verb stir sounds like a recipe for disaster: Put tempers on medium heat, stir in a few choice words, and bring to a boil; continue stirring until thick; cool off; let feelings chill for several days; serve cold; lots of leftovers.

A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” . . . To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.”

“He made me mad.” This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!”

“Nor can becoming angry be justified. In Matthew 5, verse 22, the Lord says: “But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment” (emphasis added). How interesting that the phrase “without a cause” is not found in the inspired Joseph Smith Translation (see Matt. 5:24), nor in the 3 Nephi 12:22 version. When the Lord eliminates the phrase “without a cause,” He leaves us without an excuse. “But this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Ne. 11:30). We can “do away” with anger, for He has so taught and commanded us.”

How shall we avoid deception?

How shall we be able to avoid deception in these the last days when Christ himself prophesied:

"For in those days there shall also arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders, insomuch, that, if possible, they shall deceive the very elect, who are the elect according to the covenant. "  (JS Matthew 1:22)

Elder Kim B. Clark warned in last General Conference:
"Whatever level of spirituality or faith or obedience we now have, it will not be sufficient for the work that lies ahead. We need greater spiritual light and power. We need eyes to see more clearly the Savior working in our lives and ears to hear His voice more deeply in our hearts."

D&C 45: 55-59 gives us the key to arriving at the last day where Satan has no place in our heart; the key to being one of the wise virgins referred to in the parable of the Ten Virgins found in Matthew 25:1-13.  The key is . . . . are you ready . . . . .drum roll please . . . . in D&C 45:57 . . . . the wise vigins "have taken the Holy Spirit for their guide"

So taking the Holy Spirit for our guide becomes our most important task. Elder Clark gave some good guidelines for doing that, all the simple stuff that we've heard over and over. Do we have faith enough to act upon these guidelines? Its the same as asking "Are we wise enough to keep oil in our lamps during the time of waiting for the Savior's return?"  Cause that's how we do it - so simple that its easy to look beyond the mark.

In all of these guidelines, I would add that it's crucial that our heart is engaged as we do them.  Simply checking them off a "TO DO LIST" is not going to work in the long term.

From Elder Clark:
In our HOMES: pray in faith, search the scriptures, keep the Sabbath day holy

In our CHAPElS: partake of the sacrament, make sacred promises to Heavenly Father 

In HOLY TEMPLES: participate in sacred ordinances

in our FAMILIES and ASSIGNMENTS: reach out to others, lifting their burdens and inviting them to come to Christ 

THEN this is the PROMISE: "the Holy Ghost will come! We will grow spiritually and gain experience with the Holy Ghost, and He will be our companion."

The RESULT for us: we will see the Lord Jesus Christ working in our lives; we will see our brothers and sisters through eyes of love and compassion; we will hear the Savior's voice in the scriptures, in the whisperings of the spirit, in the words of the living prophets; we will see the power of God resting upon HIs prophet; and we will know with a surety that this is God's holy work; we will see the way the Savior does; we will have eyes to see and ears to hear. . . Through the companionship of the Holy Ghost we will be able to cut through confusion, pain and darkness. 

I would add my testimony to these promises. I know that it's through these simple things that we use our agency to choose Christ and "receive the Holy Ghost". I know that He keeps His promises. I know that as we choose to receive the Holy Ghost - to invite him into our lives by doing these simple things, we will be led and guided to know "all things what ye should do." (2 N 32:5)

I know that "the Spirit speaketh truth and lieth not."  and that the spirit will show us "things as they really are, and of things as they really will be." and that the spirit will show us these things "plainly for the salvation of our souls." (Jacob 4:13) There is absolute truth - things as they really are and the spirit will teach it to us. There is good and evil. It is given unto us to judge. There is a light by which we may judge and we are counseled to "see that ye do not judge wrongfully. (Moroni 7:18-19)

“The ability to receive and act upon personal revelation is the single most important skill we can acquire in this life. With it we cannot fail; without it we cannot succeed” (Julie B Beck; “And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit,”Ensign, May 2010, 11).

So what can we do to increase our abilities to receive revelation from the Holy Ghost? How can we help our children to acquire this skill? How can we take the Holy Spirit for our guide?

Your Next Step

We read a conference talk together every morning. Today is was Elder Randall K Bennett, titled “Your Next Step”. He quoted Moroni 7:33 which says, “If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.”  He then went through three principles that will help us take our next step in our journey back to our Father in Heaven.  I believe these are true and powerful principles that will help us move forward in any worthy effort.

1. Become as a Child: When a child is learning to walk, they try and fail many times but they never give up. And because of that, they eventually learn how to walk. With childlike humility and willingness to keep trying, never giving up hope even when we fall, we can make progress toward Heavenly Father and our Savior. Our Heavenly Father rejoices in every faithful step and every effort to get back up and try again. – Elder Bennett

I believe our faithful efforts to overcome weaknesses and our efforts towards any worthy, desired outcome are steps towards becoming more like Him. And lead us back to Him. ~Shelley

2. Act with Faith: “Whenever we willingly act with faith in Jesus Christ and take another step, especially an uncomfortable step requiring change or repentance, we are blessed with strength. I testify that the Lord will guide us to – and through our next steps. He will more than match our efforts with His power if we are willing to keep trying, repenting, and moving forward with faith in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.”  - Elder Bennett

Our devoted weekly observance of the Sabbath – a sign of our love for the Lord - carries with it a promise for our obedience. “We are promised that with devoted Sabbath day observance, the fulness of the earth will be ours.” (D&C 59:9-10, 13, 15-16)  - Elder Bennett

3. Overcome the Natural Man: “A third principle is this: we must counter the natural man’s tendency to procrastinate, to put off, or to give up. . . . faith in Heavenly Father and in Jesus Christ is a principle of action and power. If we are willing to act, we will be blessed with the strength to repent and with the strength to change.  . . We fail only if we fail to take another faithful step forward.” – Elder Bennett

Promised Blessings: “I promise that each faith-filled step will be met with help from heaven” – Elder Bennett

It’s my testimony that there is great and often untapped power available to us because of faithful keeping of covenants and commandments.  We need only the faith to ask and seek - the blessings are waiting to be given.  ~Shelley

Trust

I've been reviewing some of the classes I attended at Education Week last August, These quotes came from a class I attended about Trust.  Every day the teacher began the class with this quote: 

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.” (Quoted by David O McKay, Gospel Ideals [1953]. 187)

 Here is another quote from that class about the importance of reliability in developing relationships of trust.

“Here is a hypothetical. You are home with your children. A person you don’t want to talk to is calling on the phone or coming to the door. You are tempted to have the children tell them you are not home.

“If you do this, you are showing your children that you will lie to gain an advantage, and you are teaching them how to do the same. You are weakening their faith that they can trust you to tell the truth. You are also casting doubt on the validity of the commandment not to lie and on the prophets who taught that commandment. You are even diminishing faith in the existence of the God whose commandment it is.” (Dallin H. Oaks, BYU Address, Nov 9, 2004)

Another quote from that class:

“Our principal rarely gets into classrooms to observe or give feedback. But when we had our accreditation visit, right in front of the whole team our principal said that he gets into every classroom at least once a year, if not more, He said that most were informal, drop-in visits. We all knew that it wasn’t true. We couldn’t believe that he would come right out and lie like that! After that, I never trusted him in the same way again.” (Trust Matters – Leadership for Successful Schools;Book by Megan Tschannen-Moran)